I've dealt with body pain my whole life. And one time, about a year and a half ago I was seriously H*U*R*T*I*N*G. So I finally caved and booked myself a massage - (the cheapest one I could find)... and it felt so gooooood....
I needed it. My body needed it. (To be honest, my body and I needed a LOT that I wasn't giving to myself, because I didn't have the time, money, etc.)
And that's where I lived. "I don't have the time or money - so spending on myself right now would be irresponsible and selfish and I'll just have to wait til it's a better time and there's more financial cushion."
I KNEW this was backwards, just like I'm sure you know it's backwards, but I did it because I was afraid! I was afraid that if I spent on myself outside a dire emergency - that I was being selfish.
At that time, I was also preparing to take my kids overseas to spend 6 weeks in Europe.
I was dedicated and willing to do whatever it took - I WAS going to do this with them.
Me + 3 kids? You do the math.
It was important to me that I come up with that cash, so I did it.
So why was I stressing about a single massage?
Plain and simple: It's way easier for me to lavish others with gifts and care, but I was another story.
Obviously this was a self-worth thing.
I knew that.
And that's when my own Radical Self Recovery journey began.
I had let life define and as a result - deny me from fully living.
I let my traumas, the guilt about my choices, the pain of my divorce and fear of the future - become the excuse for why I "couldn't" spend money on myself, care for my well being, take time off, speak my mind, charge appropriately .... and really... believe in myself.
If you can relate, read on - we're almost done.
If you're wrestling with the idea of getting yourself the massage you know you need, taking the trip you need to take, leaving the relationship that's sucking you dry or hiring that person you know will lead you to your success or peace of mind -
You've got an issue with BOTH faith and self love.
But for now, let me tell you something I've learned about self-love.
The best thing you can possibly do, to really learn and practice self love, is to do it *before* you believe you 'deserve' it. It's in the doing of it, over and over again, that you feel the return on your investment into your wholeness.... and you won't be able to stop.
You won't feel the need to defend your right for it -
You won't feel the need to convince *yourself* that you deserve it.
It will just be how you live.
It will be the standard that you set for others - to have no choice but to accept that that's how you live.
Take self-love action until it becomes you.
And it will become you.
Any action or mindset you choose to repeatedly take - always becomes you; for better or for worse.
So why not be intentional, be proactive and let what you MOST desire, be what you become?