I had to learn this one the hard way. My body was totally shutting down even though I was doing EVERYTHING RIGHT. One day, a few years back, I spent the morning with a friend. I was exhausted. Chronic fatigue didn’t begin to describe it. I just wanted to cry. I told my friend about it. And my beautiful amazing well-meaning friend responded with…
There’s this thing about scarcity that has it’s grip in us and I’m not even sure how aware we are of it. It’s like it’s right there in front of us, SCREAMING or whispering, it doesn’t matter - because it IS there - right there and we don’t want to see it.
Seeing would mean believing and believing would mean missing out and missing out would mean death.
Oh, our silly beautiful minds.
I was a danger to myself. So I joined the rest of the dangerous teens in the special place where there were no razors, no mirrors, no sharp edges and no…. need to be ok. We were all sad, all fucked up in some way or another and all just wished we could GO AWAY because obviously there was something wrong with us. But something about that was comforting. We could all be fucked up here. We belonged.
You’re the person that’s tired of being ALMOST there, ALMOST getting the results, and let’s be honest, ALMOST being happy. You journal, you affirm, you vision board and still wonder why-the-fuck you aren’t there yet. Let me tell you WHY that is and what you need to do about it. (cause I did it for a long ass time too, love…)
When you decide what you’ll no longer tolerate - be prepared for rapid change. Really. And be warned that the changes that happen won’t always be the ones you expected. However, if you don’t let yourself know what I’m about to tell you - you’ll stay in this time loop of struggle and longing. Sucks. But it’s true. And the beautiful part? You get to choose.
I’d lay on the couch and stare out the window hoping for a grand awakening or for a deep wave of sleep to wash over me delivering the cosmic level of rest I so badly needed. Have you ever felt like that? You know what you need to do but you’re so tired that you can’t even keep your eyes open long enough to solve them? That’s where I was. Miserable in secret. Until I realized the one thing I needed to do to change it all once and for all.
What I’m saying is that the ‘getaway’ wasn’t the miracle I needed.
And there wasn’t ONE problem I needed a miracle for.
I had many problems.
And I needed many miracles. And I needed them fast. Like… Yesterday. Open up and I’ll tell you what I did.
I’ve been through so many layers of abuse, neglect and assault. It’s been scary. It’s been hard. It hurts. But after all these years, I’ve learned how to move on. Guilt free. No longer bound to who you think you have to be but free to be …. At peace. As you.
Maybe you think I’m a bitch. Maybe I think I’m living what I preach. But read on, and you tell me.
I guess it’s cool right now for "spiritual" people to bully and shame just about anyone they disagree with or are triggered by, especially other coaches or healers.
It’s like the coaching industry has turned into The Heathers. And it's time someone said something.
I have no problem being that person.
I never understood why girls in high school wore those massively padded bras. I mean, hey - I envied that perky cleavage. But I knew the boobs weren't real. I was really insecure about my ... lack ... and those padded boobies were tempting.
Why am I telling you the deep, dark and ugly?
Because I'm not above admitting when I'm in a shit hole.
Shit holes happen because life happens and life is messy when you're busy actually living it.
SOMETIMES YOU *CHECK IN WITH YOUR HEART* AND GET NOTHING.... YOU'RE NOT "DOING IT WRONG". CAN I PLEEEAAASE take a moment to tell you something about your intuition?? <3
I’ve believed for a long time now, that when it makes no sense why you’re tired - like - you SHOULD be energized but you’re not - and you juuuuuuust want to go to sleep....
You’re avoiding life.
You’re hiding. Not playing the full hand, so running from the play all together.
A lot of people like to say that everything is meant to be. And honestly, my traumatic past has always had a really hard time swallowing that. Until I had a recent epiphany that - I won't say CHANGED everything - but DID kick my ass more into my power and sense of peace. Damn well worth it. Read on.
I woke up yesterday feeling like an energetic beast of change and purging was moving through me. I wasn’t in a black hole or anything - but I WAS needing to inward. And NOT give. (Because lets be real, I fucking GIVE). So what do you do though, when other people *NEED* you??
Knowing yourself enough to HONOR yourself enough to lay down your SOUL law and play your hand like a killer cosmic queen with a big fucking dream…
That’s a SELFMADE life.
This one's about self care when you don't have time AND when you feel guilty for taking it. And when you're sick and can't take a day off. And when you're tired of wondering what people are thinking of you because you're... sick again?....really?
Nothing worse than having a long day and snuggling up to Instagram or Pinterest...until you're loudly reminded of how much your life falls short of the dream you have for it. Shit. Now what?
Sometimes the hardest thing you can do is to let yourself be sick. You've got a life to live, deadlines to meet and people to take care of. But in the end, sick happens and I've learned that there is a way you can be sick and get through it without your life falling to pieces.